Take the Damn Compliment

I know the title sounds aggressive... but that’s only because I want to emphasize how much I truly mean this!

We are so quick to dismiss the kindness that others give to us because we do not believe those words about ourselves to be true. When we dismiss this kindness, it not only does our own perception an injustice, but also an injustice to the people who care enough to provide us with their honesty. Have you ever realized that when you are complimented by someone you are far more likely to excel at something; or continue to excel at something? Maybe you know the concept of a “compliment“ by its other form - “positive reinforcement”. Now we can talk about this subject psychologically. If you’re interested in a deeper dive on the matter, I highly suggest you look up B. F Skinner and his theory of operant conditioning. To simplify, we can define operant conditioning as follows: the consequences of a response will determine the probability of it being repeated.

If we adhere to the above statement, that tells us: if we are to start to accepting the compliments that people give us, it is more likely that we will believe these words to be true. For example, the more you hear that you have a beautiful smile and the more you start to accept these words positively, the more you will start to believe it to be true. Evidently, I am drawing very different comparisons; one being actionable versus one being emotive.

In any case, the concept exists in truth.

So why deflect something genuine and thoughtful about yourself? You are not being humble by disregarding another person's kindness towards you. So, just take the compliment! Your worthy of them all!